


16 "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

by allousive



Series: One Hundred Ways To Say 'I Love You' [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood and Injury, Comfort, Death, M/M, Nightmares, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 12:31:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20815199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allousive/pseuds/allousive
Summary: Tears were streaming down his face, he wiped them away with his hands, smearing red across his cheeks and trying to block out where that blood had come from.





	16 "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

**Author's Note:**

> hi, here i am trying something a little different again, hope you enjoy x

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16 "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

There was blood everywhere. James had never seen so much blood. It was on his hands, on the walls, on the floors, everywhere. He tried to walk, but it was more of a stumble as he made his way through the dark house. Through one of the front windows he could see a body laying twisted on the ground, both knees bent back at funny angles. A shock of red hair caught his eye, the majority of it covering the body’s face. He prayed it wasn’t Lily, he knew she’d followed him in and he was sure he’d heard her scream, but there was so much going on he couldn’t get to her in time. Tears were streaming down his face, he wiped them away with his hands, smearing red across his cheeks and trying to block out where that blood had come from.

But it was impossible to erase that image out of his mind. His hands pressing down intently on the wound across Albus’ chest, trying to stop the blood pouring out of his brother’s body. He could still hear the raspiness of his brother’s last breaths, the way he’d begged James to help him, to stop the pain. But he couldn’t, all he could do was press down on the wound and the watch the life leave his brother’s eyes.

James fell to the ground, body shaking with the power of his sobs. There was nothing he could do, they were both dead. He was their big brother, the eldest, their protector and he’d let them die. There was no way he could bring them back.

All he knew was needed to get out of that house. He could vaguely remember where the door was, so he pushed himself up off the floor, tears blurring his vision, and continued walking. Until he came abruptly to a stop. Frozen at the sight before him.

Teddy. Eyes vacant as he stared directly at James, blood pouring out of his mouth and down his body, dripping into a puddle on the floor. A rope round his neck, suspending him from the ceiling. Bile rose up James’ throat, he couldn’t tear his eyes away despite the fact that he would rather be dead himself than see what was before him.

“Teddy!” He screamed, stepping closer to the body and hoping that maybe if he kept shouting his name he would wake up.

He couldn’t stop himself from screaming, he hadn’t wanted to make any noise or draw attention to himself but the sight of Teddy sent him over the edge. It felt like hours he was stood there, screaming Teddy’s name and hoping for something, anything.

James woke himself with a scream, the final syllable of Teddy’s name still on his tongue as he quickly sat up in his bed. His throat was hoarse, the power of his screams having dried it out. The bed sheets around him were soaked through with sweat and his cheeks were damp from his tears. His heart was pounding in his chest, the sound of blood rushing loud in his ears.

As he took a deep breath, shuddering slightly at the aftershock of his scream, the bedroom door flung open and Teddy was stood in the doorway, eyes adjusting to the darkness.

“What’s wrong?” He sounded panicked as he approached the bed.

Wordlessly, he pulled out his wand and cast lumos, placing the glowing wood on James’ bedside table. He hadn’t wanted to turn the light on, but he needed something to be able to see James.

“I - fuck – I had a, erm…” James trailed off, voice still shaky.

Tears were still streaming down his cheeks and as he went to wipe them, he stopped, memories of the dream and smearing blood on his face coming flooding back. He looked down at his hands, slightly blue in the glow of Teddy’s wand, and inspected them, turning them over and over again to check for any blood.

Teddy sat down on the bed, scooting close enough to James so he could reach out and touch him if he wanted to.

“It’s okay,” he said soothingly, “take your time.”

Teddy had been sat downstairs in the lounge of his and James’ shared flat, he’d been finding it hard to fall asleep so he’d been sat on the sofa reading, trying to relax his mind. The sound of James’ screams had shocked him and when the screams turned into James yelling his name, he’d wasted no time and made his way immediately up the stairs.

James pushed the damp covers off himself, shuffling around so he wasn’t sat in an uncomfortable patch of his own sweat. He looked down at his hands once more then back to Teddy.

He took a deep breath, “I had a nightmare.”

Teddy looked at him sympathetically and placed a hand gently on James’ bare knee, the pyjamas shorts he was wearing had ridden up to mid-thigh and were damp around the hem from his sweat.

“What happened?”

James looked down at Teddy’s hand on his knee and took another deep breath, his heart rate was beginning to slow but it was still much faster than normal.

“I was in a house and erm, it was dark and, erm, there was blood everywhere and…” He trailed off, another round of tears welling up in his eyes.

Teddy reached across without thinking and wiped James’ eyes with the pad of his thumb, smiling reassuringly.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” He said.

“No, no, I can,” James replied, shuffling slightly closer to Teddy until his foot was touching the other’s calf, “there was blood and erm, Lily and Al were there, and Al was bleeding and I tried to save him but he died. Then Lily was outside but I’m sure she was dead, and then.”

He stopped, saliva thick in his throat, unable to get his words out. Teddy just smiled softly at him, his hand still resting on James’ knee, thumb stroking soothing circles onto his skin.

“Then,” James continued, “I tried to get out and I saw you. And you were dead and there was blood coming from your mouth and you were hanging and I tried to shout at you and tried to get you to look at me and you wouldn’t and I couldn’t save you or them or anyone.”

His voice broke at the end, repeating the mantra in his head that it was just a dream. Teddy’s heart broke, the look on James face was one of absolute defeat.

“Come here.” He said, opening his arms and motioning for James to come closer.

James did, shuffling toward Teddy until he could lean his body against the older man. Teddy wrapped his arms around James, unbothered by the dampness of his pyjamas and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“It was just a nightmare,” Teddy said, rubbing a hand up and down James’ arm soothingly, “it’s not real. I’m right here, I’m not dead, neither are Lily or Albus, it was just a nightmare.”

“I know, but it felt so real. You were just dead.”

“But I’m not, I’m right here.” He reassured.

James nodded, his head resting on Teddy’s chest, watching the rise and fall and trying to match his breathing to Teddy’s.

“Sorry for waking you up.” James said quietly after a while.

“_It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway_.” Teddy replied, resting his cheek against the top of James’ head.

James lifted the sheets around him, rubbing his hands across the material and grimacing.

“Everything’s all damp.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll sort it all out in the morning.” Teddy told him.

“What about me going back to sleep?”

  
  
“You can come and stay in my bed.”

James looked up at him, “Are you sure?”

“Of course Jamie.” He replied sincerely.

James smiled softly, matching Teddy’s, “Thank you.”

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End file.
